Hameez explains that her husband was not sympathetic to her family’s requests, despite his ongoing demand for money.  “Once, my sister came from the village to look after me. He scolded her also: ‘You didn’t give me any dowry, that’s why I have to work so hard now; give me a good dowry, then I will stop beating your sister,’ he told her.”  These stories about Hameez’s miserable marriage brings tears to her eyes. “Everyone was against me. No one helped me.  It was so painful. But, Insha'Allah [by God’s will], my child lives today.”  Hugging her son, Hafeeza says that she believes her son is alive today only by a miracle. “He took me to a doctor for an abortion. The doctor pressed my stomach so hard so the child would die. He wanted to hurt my child and me too.”

PROMPT, an institution dedicated to psychological support and investigation, claims that domestic violence has a grave impact on the sexual and reproductive health of women, yet domestic violence does not feature as a high priority among international donor agencies. According to PROMPT, figures on the extent and nature of domestic violence and its incidence are virtually nonexistent. Moreover, awareness about the causes and needs of victimized women is sadly lacking.  A study by Johns Hopkins University in the United States accentuates the long-term effects of domestic violence on women. Some of the perilous effects are chronic depression, eating disorders and malnutrition, as well as repeated self-injury, sexual dysfunction, low self-esteem, suicide attempts, and eventually death.

The study from Johns Hopkins moreover states that women subjected to domestic violence are at a higher risk of miscarriages, stillbirths, and are more likely to give birth to children of low birth weights, which leads to neonatal and infant deaths. Additionally, their children are more likely to be malnourished and contract diseases associated with malnourishment.  Furthermore, growing up seeing their mothers subjected to dowry-related domestic violence may hinder emotional and physical development of children. They may feel guilt and a sense of responsibility for the violence. It may develop into lifelong effects such as academic problems, behavioral problems, criminal behavior, depression, low self-esteem, and drug and alcohol abuse. Children may learn never to trust relationships lest they themselves may engage in violence against women.

“I’m so worried that my daughter will also have to face the same thing. What will I do as a mother then? Time will be different then. Maybe her husband will be a good one; maybe he will not beat her. But if he beats her, I can’t do anything, can I?” asks Shaheen.  Both Shaheen and Hafeeza know that their daughters are likely to inherit their fate. They acknowledge that they would be unable to take any action to protect their daughters.  “The way I have suffered, I don’t want my child to suffer.” Hafeeza talks about her son. “I want him to be a good man; I want him to be educated. I don’t want my son to be like his father.”

Unfortunately, despite all the negative ramifications and the legal and religious boundaries, dowry does prevail in Bangladesh.  Dowries are frequent and common, although they are never spoken of publicly, “Here, people give dowries secretively. No one tells others that they are giving dowries. Money, jewelries, and other things they give secretively…Because, in our religion, it’s not good to give dowry. We, Biharies, shouldn’t give dowries,” says Shaheen.  Even though keeping up with the dowry system is not appropriate according to the law and religion, it is a matter of status.  Khan, the professor at BRAC University, explains, “It is a means of ensuring that the bride is not abused or mistreated in her husband’s house.”

But, does a dowry really make sure that the bride is well cared for? According to a study done in 2004, women who pay a dowry are very likely to face domestic violence, even in comparison to those who do not pay a dowry. Furthermore, those who pay small dowries are more likely to be subjected to domestic violence than those who pay larger ones. For some Bangladeshis, a dowry is the daughter’s inheritance from the family, with all other property going to sons. A large dowry makes it possible to arrange a marriage with a boy from a family of higher social status. Yet, in reality, daughters often do not inherit anything other than physical and emotional abuse.

More than half of the adolescent girls in Bangladesh become mothers when they are 19 years old, and half of these are malnourished. The national maternal mortality rate is one of the worst in Asia; every year about 11,000 women die giving birth, as most deliveries take place at home without a skilled professional.  One in every seven maternal deaths is due to domestic violence.  Moreover, Bangladesh continues to be one of the few countries where the life expectancy of women is lower than that of men.